Navigating the Emotions Around the Cruise Ship Pineapple Ban
By Kiley George
Relationship and Intimacy Coach
If you’ve been paying attention to lifestyle news recently, you’ve probably heard about Carnival Cruise Line’s decision to crack down on "swinger signals," specifically banning upside-down pineapples. For many of us in the lifestyle, this feels personal. It’s making headlines, sparking conversations, and leaving a lot of people feeling a wide range of emotions. Let’s talk about those feelings and why they’re all valid.
Feeling Hurt
It’s completely normal to feel hurt when something so tied to your identity is targeted. The upside-down pineapple has been a playful, subtle symbol in our community, and seeing it banned can feel like an attack on who we are. It’s a reminder of the stigma we’ve faced for years, and that can bring up a lot of pain. If you’re feeling hurt, know that it’s okay. Your feelings matter, and it’s valid to need time to process.
Feeling Angry
Anger is another natural response. You might feel frustrated that the lifestyle is once again misunderstood or misrepresented. You might feel like this decision is unfair and that it reinforces stereotypes about swingers being inappropriate or unwelcome in mainstream spaces. Anger can be a powerful emotion, and it’s okay to feel it. What’s important is how we channel it—into advocacy, education, or even just productive conversations.
Feeling Villainized
For many of us, this decision might bring up feelings of being villainized. It’s easy to feel like society is painting us as the "problem," even though we know that’s far from the truth. Feeling like you have to defend your lifestyle can be exhausting, and it’s okay to acknowledge that. You’re not alone in feeling this way.
Feeling Sad or Isolated
Maybe you feel sad, like this is just another barrier between the lifestyle community and broader acceptance. Or perhaps you feel isolated, like the world doesn’t understand or accept you. Those feelings are valid, too. It’s tough to feel like you’re on the outside looking in, especially when all you want is to live authentically and be respected for it.
Feeling Confused
You might even feel confused—wondering why something as simple as a pineapple could cause so much controversy. It’s okay to sit with that confusion and take the time you need to make sense of it all. These things can be complex, and you don’t have to have all the answers right away.
But Let’s Be Realistic
While it’s absolutely okay to feel all the things, we also need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Carnival Cruise Line is a mainstream, family-friendly company. Not everyone understands or accepts our lifestyle, and that’s just the reality we’re working within.
This decision isn’t necessarily about discrimination; it’s about their brand image and the experience they want to create for their customers. That’s not to say it doesn’t sting—it does. But understanding the context can help us respond in ways that don’t fuel more misunderstanding or negativity.
How We Respond Matters
This story is making headlines, and how we respond both online and in person is important and when all eyes are on us it's critical. If we meet this with outrage, hostility, or defensiveness, we risk reinforcing the very stereotypes we’re trying to dismantle. Instead, let’s focus on showing the world who we really are: a community built on respect, consent, and connection.
Here are a few tips for responding with grace and intention:
Be Empathetic: Not everyone knows about or understands the lifestyle. Approach conversations with curiosity and kindness rather than defensiveness.
Educate Thoughtfully: If the topic comes up, use it as an opportunity to share what non-monogamy is really about. Keep it simple, relatable, and stigma-free.
Choose Your Battles: Not every comment or post deserves a response. Save your energy for meaningful conversations where you can make a positive impact.
Be a Role Model: In how you talk about this, show that the lifestyle is rooted in respect, boundaries, and community—not the wild misconceptions people might have.
I’m With You
To everyone who’s feeling hurt, angry, confused, or any other mix of emotions by this news: I see you, and I’m with you. It’s okay to feel upset, and it’s okay to need time to process. But let’s also remember that we’re part of a vibrant, diverse community that has carved out incredible spaces for ourselves. Mainstream acceptance isn’t the only validation that matters.
Use this moment to reflect on how we can keep creating and celebrating the spaces that are truly ours. And when you’re ready, let’s show the world what non-monogamy really is—with empathy, understanding, and a whole lot of class.
Commentaires